Self-Confidence

Three Secrets To Skyrocket Your Self-Confidence

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One of the things I've discovered about really smart and successful people is that they have massive amount of self-confidence.

It would be great if all of us were born and raised to be confident but we know that just isn’t true. I know when I was first going into business for myself in 1998, I was not 100% confident that I would be successful. I can remember one incident right before I started where I had what could probably be called a small panic attack about starting my business. I laid on a hotel bed in Southern California and was overwhelmed with FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) . I’ve also made plenty of mistakes along the way that made me question my abilities. Eventually I overcame the doubts and now I overcome any fear much faster than in the past.

If you want to start your own business, share a belief with the world, or be a public speaker you are going to need to muster up your self-confidence. I've summarize the basics of self-confidence into three beliefs that you have to start repeating to yourself. These beliefs are going to take time to absorb and become part of your daily mindset. But if you can start adopting these new mindsets, your self-confidence will increase rapidly and dramatically.

You've got to have a purpose

Have something to say to the world. A mission, a path, a massive goal, or a methodology that people need to hear. Oftentimes, I see people that want to be more self-confident or outgoing but they have no idea what to say. They know they want the attention but they have no idea what they're going to teach, what they would sell, or who would buy it. Have something to say. Have a belief, a strong opinion or a contrarian view point that people are interested in listening to. When you are the kind of person that has a strong opinion, people will listen to you. You'll feel better when you ?begin speaking?; people will follow you and you will be considered a leader.

Don't have much to say? Spend time figuring out what you believe in, what things you don't believe in, and what things you can do to help people. Then write these down in an easy to understand format, then find a tribe or a group of people that will follow you and have the same beliefs you have. Once you have a tribe and a group of people that will follow you, you will gain more confidence because you'll be around similar minded people? with? similar understandings, goals, and destinations ?as you.

Kill that perfection buddy

Understand that you are not a perfect person. I know entrepreneurs that want to be on TV more or do more public speaking, but they are absolutely terrified that they are not going to do a great job. They're afraid they're ?going to make a mistake. They're afraid they're going to forget something. They're afraid they're gonna look like a fool. They're going to trip. Oftentimes, you'll see this when people want to run classes or do conferences. It's very easy to sit by yourself and broadcast from a webcam. It's much harder to go in front of a group of 5,000 people staring at you and present the same information. One of the things I tell people is that they need to understand that you and I and everybody that's ever done anything risky is going to make a mistake. You have to put yourself out there. You have to understand that mistakes are part of growth. Mistakes are part of success. In order to grow something and do something right, sometimes you have to do something wrong, sometimes several times. So, understand that you're going to make mistakes. But, luckily, most of the time people are not going to notice your mistakes. And lastly, remember that even if you do make a mistake, people are generally going to be very understanding of it. The net result ?and benefit to their lives is going to out-weigh the mistake.

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Someone is begging for your help

One of the things that's made me more self confident is realizing that I am the answer to someone's problem. I am the answer to someone's prayer. Right now you have knowledge and wisdom in your head that somebody online or in your life around you is begging to hear. They cannot wait. They are in pain, whether financially, spiritually, physically, or relationship-wise. Somebody around you is waiting for your solution and more than likely you have something in your head that would solve their problem ?and alleviate ?their pain. It may not be a major pain?, it may just be like a minor itch of some sort, but it doesn't matter. You know something. If you're someone who's been on this planet for a couple of decades, you have smarts and wisdom that can really benefit somebody else's life. Once you realize that and make it your purpose to share what you know and benefit other people's lives, you will have a lot more self-confidence. This will then wrap around back to number one, which is that you'll have something to say.

Having self confidence can do a lot of things for you both with business and in your personal lives. It can make you a better public speaker?, a better entrepreneur?, a better mother, a better father, and ?just a better person overall. In our world of entrepreneurship, you're going to have to be competent in your abilities which will lead to confidence in your craft. Not confident that you're perfect, but confident that most of the time you're going to have a path and a destination and the right answers for people to follow. Someone who has self-confidence is considered a leader and people will follow leaders.

If you want to be a leader in your industry, start working on your self-confidence with these three things.

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Business Mastery

Nobody Wants to Buy a Drill. They Want To Buy the Hole.

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

5 Ways To Stop Being Absolutely Broke

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I'd love to say all of these are my ideas, but they are not. They are the result of someone asking the question "Has anyone ever been able to go from absolutely broke to making a comfortable living". It was asked on Reddit and I've read every single answer to find the best ones.

I was living in my car...

I was living in my car when someone broke my window and took all my clothes. I'm making a little over $100k now, but this is 15 years later.

I had no credit, but some how was approved at Target for a $200 store credit card. I used that to buy shoes/clothes, and went on to job interviews. Landed a job working at a 24 hr call center overnight for some insurance company. I put allot of overtime, and started with the basics. (I never paid the store credit card, but I did go to a junk yard to get a new car window)

Started a bank account for direct deposit on my pay, used my first $250 for an apartment. (Shitty studio, with no bedroom) had no furniture except for what other tenants thru away. Started 1 class of community college a semester, added more as i could afford to pay them in cash. Took 4 years to finish an associates degree with a focus of study in business. Landed a better job, continued to a 4 year degree... and just kept bettering my skills and resume. (Government Grants, not loans)

I own my own home, have a fully paid car, and live a comfortable life now. I was lucky enough to not ever need a hospital. Luck and planing... don't live a wistful life, use every little thing you have to its fullest.

(I still eat ramen every now and then)

Don't live a wistful life, use every little thing you have to its fullest.

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Dead broke at 21...

Dead broke at 21, lowest credit score possible, no car because repossessed, no license because suspended for non payment of speeding tickets. Homeless, sneaking into girlfriends house to sleep.

Spent my days at the library when my gf worked, reading about great people, changing your life, etc. Used their computers and internet to send or print free resumes. Got into the only, yet likely best occupation that will take a person like that and offer real opportunity for a hard worker, commissioned sales.

Sucked for weeks, awkward, stuttering, not knowing the product well. To be completely honest I cried the first two days I came home, for the first time since I was a child. Just felt hopeless and a huge failure, but I resisted the urge to no show and went to work the following day and the day after.

Each week I got better, started making sales, within 6 months I was pulling in $2000+ weekly commissions.

I just outworked everyone else, I came in early 6am to make calls overseas, stayed late to make calls on the west coast, answered emails at home.

I left within the first year to start my own company, I had learned exactly what the company was doing and realized I could offer the same services. It wasn't easy, but it's 15 years later and I employ 17 people, I earn all different amounts as the owner but never under $600,000 and on good years quite a bit more.

I was a fuck up my whole life OP, took an extra year to get out of high school, no college, destroyed any credit line given to me, quit jobs for no reason, or just not show up because I was tired.

You can wake up a year from now in a completely different life. You might have to jump around to a few opportunities, but keep your expenses dirt cheap, game plan, exploit any advantage to save money safely as in don't live in a crack den, but a trailer is fine.
You sound like you have good self control, which is more than I had, and it took me many years to get my impulses under control.

You can wake up a year from now in a completely different life

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I was hopeless and desperate...

I sold everything I owned, left the state where I used to live with $600 to my name (about to be evicted, and $30000 in debt), in a 12 year old car with expired plates, a wonky transmission, and a bad u-joint, drove halfway across the country to move in with my brother and his wife and their kids, with no prospects and no idea what I was going to do. I was hopeless and desperate, a complete failure at 40 years old. I looked for work for a few months as I taught myself to code, and finally got a contract job for six months, which was extended, and finally after 18 months was offered a full time job. I moved into an apartment. It's seven years later, my debts are paid, I'm at a different (better) job, making $90k a year, and my gf and I are buying a house. I had no hope and no prospects seven years ago. It slowly got better by taking a chance, working hard and having good people around me that I could rely on. Don't give up.

It slowly got better by taking a chance, working hard, and having good people around me that I could rely on.

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It's a lot of work and not hanging out with friends...

Started learning programming on YouTube at 18 while working retail and totally broke, $40k programming job at 19, $50k at 20, $90k at 21, $110k at 23, $120k at 25. Own a house and all that jazz. Programming is one of the few things I see a lot of nerds getting 6 figure salaries without a degree. Echoing what everyone else has said, it's a lot of work and not hanging out with friends, but worth it. I'm definitely happy with my current lifestyle, keep your head up.

Programming is one of the few things where I see a lot of nerds getting 6 figures without a degree

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Got kicked out, dropped out of school..

Yep. 2 years ago, I was a broke college student living with family. Got kicked out, dropped out of school, and started jockeying for more hours at my almost-minimum wage job. Today, I make about 50k, and I still work for the same employer. I'm not a rags-to-riches story like others in this thread, but I just bought my first house, I'm financially secure, and I live pretty comfortably. Granted, I'm a single guy with no kids, but I'm sure you could live comfortably on that kind of money too. Here's what I did:

I bettered myself. On my own time, and sometimes with my own money, I got certified as a wine sommelier, a forklift operator, and got my CPR/AED/First Aid certifications. When promotion time came around, I wrote an eloquent letter of interest highlighting not only my unique skill set, but also my initiative in acquiring said skills without being prompted to do so. Don't think that going back to school is the only way to educate yourself. Find something that provides incontrovertible proof that you're going to work your ass off to keep getting better at what you do if they pick you for that promotion.

I took an interest in general leadership. I had no formal management experience, but when a management position opened up, I highlighted my experience with student government in college and being an NCO of Marines.

I worked on my credit. Gained 80 points in 2 years, paid off some collections, kept my nose clean. You need to take care of that shit with your mom. She screwed you by kicking you out and endangered her grandchild's future... so if I were you, I'd start prioritizing your kid over your mom. When your credit is dogshit, the first step to improving it is having some awkward conversations with your creditors. That's part of being a man, I'm afraid.

I kept living like a broke college student even after getting pay raises. I highly recommend subscribing to /r/frugal and /r/MealPrepSunday for some inspiration on how to live simply and economically. Also: buy a slow cooker. It will pay for itself many, many times over even within the first year you have it.

I kept applying for jobs I didn't think I could get. They kept giving them to me anyway. I worked hard on my letter, I prepped for the interview... and sometimes, other people didn't bother applying and I didn't have much competition. You don't have to be the perfect applicant, you just have to be the best one who bothered to put themselves out there.

Don't think that going back to school is the only way to educate yourself. Find something that provides incontrovertible proof that you're going to work your ass off to keep getting better at what you do.

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If you want to read every response you can find the entire thread at:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/7ncjrz/has_anyone_ever_been_able_to_go_from_absolutely

Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

Are Your Friends Holding You Back From Amazing Success?

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

Welcome To The Grind

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There are no shortcuts. There are no quick fixes. There are no secret methods to “being productive”, “making more money”, and “time management”. As much as I may use these phrases on occasion, they are all worthless without the magic word. The magic word overrides all of these. When you focus on that magic word, everything else falls into place. When you focus on that magic important word, you don’t have any problems getting shit done. You don’t hate your day and your life. You realize that busting your ass is part of the process of success.

Attitude Adjustment

SDN019: How I made $400,000 from a single conversation

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One of the best things you can be in life and in business is more outgoing and more approachable when it comes to making new friends. I thought I’d use this time between us to talk about my history- how I’m more outgoing, more boisterous; how I make great connections, how I shake more hands, and how it’s benefited me in my life and in my business.

Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

The four best damn productivity habits high achievers use

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I’m a student of productivity. I have to be—distractions are everywhere.

And while I know there are hundreds of apps designed to plan, protect, measure, and manage my time, I prefer some died-in-the-wool methods.

The good news is you can use them as well and with zero training.

First, how are you doing? Are you able to focus when needed and complete the task at hand? Are you organized and following a plan? Can you recover from inevitable distractions quickly and get back to work?

If you’re not sure you’re playing at the top of your time management game, then these solutions can make a big difference.

1. BOUNDARIES

I think “open door” policies are stupid. It’s also stupid to check you email first thing in the morning, work without a plan and allow interruptions to rule your day.

That’s why you need Boundaries.

A Boundary is when you are strategically unavailable. Different from a meeting, a Boundary is a time block that reoccurs every day to allow you to work on projects that require your full attention.

My first Boundary is from 5:00 to 7:00AM for writing. No Internet, spell-check, email, or social media—just a big cup of tea and writing. I will either be working on a blog (guess what time I’m writing this), client proposal or speech—most mornings I can crank out 1,000 words.

My next Boundary is 9:15 to 10:30AM. I’m at my office (a 12 minute bike ride from home) and working on 50% of the hardest work on my plate for the day.

And then I have a Boundary from 1:30 to 3:30 for the second 50% of hard work.

Here’s the trick: I don’t worry if it doesn’t happen. It could be I have a client meeting, a speech out of town or I’m meeting someone. Of course, I try to schedule around my Boundaries, but if I can’t protect that time my trick is to return to my routine the next day.

2. BLOCKING

You get ready and are on time for meetings. Right? Why not create a meeting for yourself.

Blocking happens when you create an appointment with yourself for a task that either:

you know you might procrastinate about
impacts someone else and they are relying on you to get it done
is strategic and by completing it you move other projects ahead

When I get off the phone from a new client I block time on my calendar to interview delegates (invaluable research as a speaker), create handouts, or have a final call with the client.

I also Block time for responding to RFP’s (Request For Proposals), researching for my blog, creating email sequences for upcoming webinars and just thinking.

I’m always a bit surprised how my Pavlovian reaction to seeing a meeting on my calendar (even if I’m not meeting someone) alerts me to get ready to work on that task.

One last point about Blocking time for yourself: my rule is once the Block is created you can’t delete it, only move it.

3. BATCHING

When I visit my friend’s cabin each summer we chop wood. Nothing like chasing a scrap of wood around the chopping block to keep me happy.

It would be a bit silly for me to announce I’m going to “chop some wood”, proudly return with one stick only to head out 20 minutes later to “chop some more wood.” Instead I Batch.

Batching is a lost art in our age of multitasking and it still works like a damn. When you Batch you complete similar tasks all at once. The most obvious example is your email. That addictive InBox (Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D likens our addiction to email to that of a Vegas slot machine) will suck up every available moment unless you reserve your visits to Batching. Other examples of batching include:

paying bills
filing and clearing the clutter in your office
returning phone calls
updating your planning tools
updating social media
reading and commenting on blogs
dealing with personal finances, money transfers, investments, banks, insurance companies etc.

4. BREAKS

And now for the one power tool that will have the biggest impact on your success—taking Breaks. Don’t underestimate the power of a Break.

New research found that over four hours of sitting a day (between your breakfast, commute, email, social media, TV, Netflix and meetings that’s easy to do) doubles your risk of Type 2 diabetes, obesity and early coronary disease. Got your attention?

The trick is to take Breaks throughout the day, not to wait for that long walk in the evening. Researchers found that exercise after the fact (like going for a long run after work) can’t undo “damage” done while we’re dormant in our chair.

So you have to plan to move at least every 15 minutes. Here’s how:

move your garbage can, water and recycling box away from your desk
when working on a project, set a timer for every 25 minute to get up and move
park further away from your office, meeting, grocery store and walk the rest of the way
take the stairs
Use this list of office exercises to inspire some variety in your movement.

Boundaries, Blocking, Batching and Breaks – pretty easy hacks to get you productive and moving. What are you going to start with?

“When you feel good about what you did, your brain will change. It will want to do the behavior again in the future. That leads to making the habit stronger.” —B.J. Fogg, Ph.D

Bio: Hugh Culver co-created the world’s most expensive tours (to the South Pole), started five companies, and teaches experts the business of speaking. Read his blog on the business of speaking. Follow him on Twitter @hughculver

Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

Four Ways To Break Through the Wall

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Let’s be honest, at some point we all hit a wall. A Plateau. A Bad Day. Writer’s Block. Whatever you might call the moment when things stop working. It is a natural part of reaching for a goal. It’s just a part of life. How you handle that moment is crucial though. If handled wrong the wall becomes too big to overcome, and we become frustrated, irritable, and maybe worst of all, we give up.

If we handle the moment well, the wall becomes a hurdle. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t take work or time to overcome, but we soon find ourselves back on track to achieving our goals. Here are a few ways to handle those moments when we hit a wall in our life.

Take a Break

We work hard. Life can get busy. Sometimes we hit the wall when we are tired, and that makes the wall bigger than it actually is. It is OK to take a break. Walk away from the wall for awhile. Part of this is being aware of your situation and self. To be honest enough to take a real break. I know this is difficult for us when we are striving to achieve a goal. But when you feel rested, you might discover that the wall was not that big in the first place.

Ask for Help

This option is also hard to do sometimes. Our pride gets in the way, but consider that great athletes have coaches, great writers have editors, and simply, CEOs have friends. We are people, not machines. Getting someone else’s perspective on a situation is a valuable asset in overcoming a “wall” moment. When working on a goal, our focus can actually blind us from seeing new opportunities or hurdles that trip us up. Life is a team sport, you don’t have to do it alone.

Try a New Approach

One way around a wall is a new approach. Asking for help can lead us to consider new approaches. But we can figure it out sometimes when we hit a wall, and we hit a wall, and we hit it again. If we keep doing the same thing and keep hitting a wall, it is time to change. As a coach and teacher I am always evaluating the outcome of a lesson or practice plan. Track is the best example here. As a track coach I paid attention to my runners’ times for their events. If they didn’t improve their time after a few weeks, I knew I had to change their training. The same holds true in our pursuit of a goal. Hitting a wall, especially a couple of times, is a sign to try a new approach.

Learn

The last approach may be the most important, learn. When we move into a new area of life or step closer to a goal, we are entering new territory. And we might not have the knowledge or skills for this step forward. My first novel has been out for six months. Sales started out well, in fact, I sold a couple of hundred copies. But now sales are almost to a stop. I have hit a wall. This wall is because of my lack of knowledge about promoting a book. It will take some time, but I am learning about different ways to self-promote and hiring an agency to promote a book. This wall was created because I had not gained the knowledge needed to promote a book well.

Hitting a wall is a part of striving for a goal. It is part of life. Using one of these strategies should help you get through the moment and back on track.

Bio: Jamey Boelhower is a husband and a father of six. He is currently an Instructional Coach and an adjunct professor for Central Community College, Nebraska. You can read his regular blog “It Is All Connected” by clicking here. And you can follow him on twitter at @jdog90

Average Saturday Versus Kickass Saturday

Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

The Average Saturday vs. The Kickass Saturday

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Welcome to Saturday morning.

It is time to wake up and be average. Because that that is what most people will do. They’ll relish the fact that they can sleep in because their POS job makes them get up at the same time every week. They get up, turn on the TV, make coffee, and land on the couch. They’ll do everything they can do to avoid any working or learning. And around noon they’ll start hooking up with their friends to see where they are going to get drunk tonight.

This can be you. Or you can opt for the kickass Saturday.

You can get up and be a high achiever. You can wake up earlier than you do the rest of the week because this ENTIRE day is yours to create. You can drink 32oz of water right away and stay standing up because doing both will wake you faster than the strongest cup of coffee out there. You can look around your house and start arranging things in ways that facilitate success. You can spend time learning something new online that will help you start that hobby or business that you wanted. You can go down to the local gym, get a tour, join, and put GYM VISIT on your scheduled at a 3 day/week appointment that you will not miss. You can go through your cupboards and throw out all of the crap that is unhealthy. You can start getting rid of a ton of stuff around the house you don’t use and take it to Goodwill so somebody else can benefit. And you can call a friend or two that has kickass life you want to have and take them to dinner and pick their brain.

You can make this day kickass or you can be average.

You’ll never get the chance back. You can try to do it next Saturday but odds are if you blow it off now you’ll blow it off then too.

Don’t waste it.

Staying Healthy

What I Eat In The Morning And Why

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Leadership Lessons

Do you want to make a difference in the world?

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A lot of people want to make a difference in the world. But I can tell you from personal experience that the best you can do is to try and make a difference in a single life. Find someone who desperately needs something you have: Street smarts, intelligence, business wisdom, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Give THAT to a single person and you will make a world of difference to them. Don’t try to change the world. Make life better for a single person at a time. Your ripple will make the world better in ways you’ll never fully be able to realize.

Staying Healthy

The Five Most Important Reasons to Laugh

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Life is not always funny. But if you are looking for some great physical and emotional reasons to laugh then you are going to LOVE our list. Check it out

1. Laughter Makes Us Healthier

Laughter is a good thing. Scientists tell us that laughter, humor and joy are an important part of life. Laughing lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, and increases muscle flexion. It increases the circulation of antibodies in the blood stream and makes us more resistant to infection.

Laughter makes us healthier

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2. Laughter Touches Our Soul

Laughter is good for us physically, but that is just the beginning. Laughter is good for the soul. There is a holiness in laughter. Laughter brings us closer to each other – and there is something holy about people coming together. Laughter provides us a moment of grace. It occurs spontaneously and unexpectedly. It catches us by surprise and we respond with laughter. We never expect to laugh, just as we never expect grace or good fortune when it arrives. And in that grace, we are able to recognize the folly of our own pursuits.

Laughter touches our soul

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3. Laughter Keeps Things in Perspective

Laughter helps us to transcend ourselves, and I need that help. Too often I take myself far too seriously. There is a danger of taking ourselves, our beliefs and our life too seriously. Fanatics, it seems to me, see nothing as funny. Here’s a suggestion. The next time you’re in the middle of an argument, start laughing – not in a derogatory tone, but in the jovial sense of being in on a good joke. Then see if the anger begins to melt away and if you can find a more creative way to handle things. I’ve done this with my kids and it actually works. And you know what else? Now I know that when I think about doing it and don’t, that I have lost my perspective.

Laughter keeps things in perspective

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4. Laughter Helps Us Stay Positive

Laughter can be an important tool for keeping our troubles in proportion, for realizing that things aren’t always as bad as we think they are. But even when things are as bad as we think they are, laughter helps create positive emotions and helps us find a frame of mind in which we can more easily cope with the struggles of life. Laughter eases tension and sharpens our ability to concentrate. Laughter is a lot like changing a baby’s diaper. It doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but it makes things a lot more acceptable for a while.

Laughter helps us stay positive

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5. Laughter Is Loving

If I am able to laugh with you in my mistakes as well as with you in yours, it suggests we are all flawed and imperfect. Embracing good natured humor, we find the humility to see the foolishness of trying to be perfect and the gift of enjoying the smiles and laughter of love.

Laughter is loving

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Children laugh on average 200 times a day and adults only 26 times a day. How many times a day do you experience the rich joy of laughter? If we want to be happier, healthier, and more productive we seriously need to make time to laugh. Because when we laugh, when we really laugh, deep from the belly… we feel alive! Start looking for more reasons to laugh today.
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Barbara Lee, the Sex Minister, is an international author, award winning speaker and accomplished group facilitator and trainer.She has committed her vocational journey to the non-profit sector and ministry where she is an advocate for diverse populations, particularly the marginalized and voiceless in our society. Barbara has an MBA in Leadership Studies and a Bachelor’s Degree in Public Administration. She is an ordained interfaith minister who has led pilgrimages to the Five Holy Peaks of Taoism in China. Barbara, a resident of Grand Haven, was a presenter at TEDxMuskegon 2013. Her books include Sacred Sex: Replacing the Marriage Ethic with a Sexual Ethic and Tension in the Tank: Embracing Interfaith Mysticism Without Leaving the Church. More information is available at thesexminister.com or barbaraleeauthor.com