You are battling with yourself and losing
Personal Development

You are fighting a battle against yourself and losing

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How environment directly impacts your success
Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

How your environment directly affects your success

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

Decide Fast. Get Rich. Drink Coffee.

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Skill #1013 that will help you develop a kick ass life. 

Rapid decision making. 

I’ve learn through a ton of trial and error…. And error…. And error…. That it’s rarely possible for me to make a “bad decision”. If I think about something for more than 30 minutes, that means I’ve weighed the most important factors in my head. 

Black and white. Right and wrong. Some decisions are like that. Should I hit this person with my car? No. Should I rob this bank? No. You always have a choice even in those scenarios. We make a lot of choice like this every day on autopilot. And as we know some people make the dark choices. 

Most of decisions you make do not result in permanent repercussions.

It’s rarely your choice that get you into trouble in your life or business. It’s the delay of making a choice, accepting the default choice, or letting someone else decide for you that takes you on a path of regret. 

Learn to make fast choices. Then get on with the plan. This will allow you spend more time doing, and less time postponing the inevitable. It also prevents life making the choice for you when you are out of options. 

Learn to make fast choices.

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

Rant: This is why you can’t get anything done.

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

3 Steps to Engineering a Comeback

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In 1999, author and motivational speaker Willie Jolle wrote a best selling book,  “A Setback is a Setup for a Comeback”. In this work the author explores the curveballs that life can throw your way and how successful people respond to those obstacles. The work gives twelve simple strategies that can turn your “trials into triumphs, your problems into possibilities, and your setbacks into comebacks.” I thought about that concept, turning a “setback into a comeback,” several times during 2017 and 2018. A lifetime of battling obesity and diabetes led to two below knee amputations, congestive heart failure and Stage 5 Kidney Disease, which requires dialysis three times a week. At age 52, I was certainly facing a setback with a tough comeback road ahead.

Prior to my health issues, I had been a successful customer experience executive.  At the height of my career I was Director of Global Customer Care for a large retail organization. In this capacity I led a Vendor Management Program consisting of seven Business Processing Outsourcers (BPOs) in five countries and ten cities with up to 1000 FTEs worldwide. After eighteen months of multiple operations, extended hospital stays and rehabilitation, I was staging the comeback of a lifetime. I was challenged with recovering while building a Training/Coaching/Speaking business and releasing two books. As a new entrepreneur, I have discovered three keys to engineering a comeback:

?Recognizing your fear does not mean that you do not feel fear! ... "feel the fear and do it anyways."

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Recognizing your fear does not mean that you do not feel fear! It does mean that you place it in its’ proper perspective. I was afraid of launching a new business and how my former colleagues would respond to me now that I was reaching out to them to sell my services. I learned to acknowledge my fears and not be overwhelmed by them. Susan Jeffers says, “feel the fear and do it anyways.” Norman Vincent Peale in his book “The Power of Positive Thinking” says, “don’t take counsel of your fear.”

REMEMBER Your Past Victories

During my extended rehabilitation, I had to remind myself of all the great things I had accomplished in the past. Prior to my illnesses, I had built a great career developing relationships with respected leaders across the world. I also had a beautiful family and enjoyed the respect of my community. I had to recognize that I was still the same person despite my new disabilities. John Maxwell’s “ Law of the Mirror” in his book 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth states that it is "impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how we see ourselves.” Although I now had two prosthetic legs and I was learning to walk again, I had to remind myself of the great things that I was capable of doing before anyone else would believe in my potential.  

RUN Towards Your Enemy

To engineer a comeback you have to take intentional action in a positive direction. In one of the greatest underdog stories of all time, David and Goliath, the young future King of Israel demonstrates this by taking his sling and 5 smooth stones and running towards the giant! My illness was my giant and I would run towards this enemy by completing two books and launching a business, Korrior Inc., prior to my release from a nursing home! I literally wrote my first book while having two fifteen gauge dialysis needles plunged deeply into my left arm three days a week while typing my book using my right arm.

My story is certainly not complete but I am in the midst of engineering a successful comeback from my setback. Your setback may be an illness or career change or the loss of a relationship. No matter your obstacle, I encourage you to recognize your fears, remember your past victories and run towards your giant to start your comeback today!

Guest Author Bio

?Darren C. Lyons ( is a 20-year customer experience professional with expertise in diverse industries including retail, credit cards, auto loans, telephony and property and casualty insurance. As Director of Global Customer Care for a large retail organization, he managed the relationship of seven BPO Partners in ten cities across five countries increasing Customer Satisfaction scores over 50% in a six month period. Through his affiliation with the John Maxwell Group he is a trainer, speaker and coach with international executive coaching clients in 3 countries. He facilitates several training seminars in including “The Color Code Personality Assessment”, “The 5 Tools of Priority Management,” and Mastermind Groups ( His book, A Day in the Life in a Skilled Nursing Facility, is available @ His next book, With Worn Out Tools: Navigating The Rituals of Mid Life will be available spring 2019. For speaking engagements, please contact Darren at ?  

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

How I Went From Rock Bottom to Disciplined in 6 Months

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I wish to share my journey of getting disciplined. I hope you will take something away from this :). I would like to mention that I'm not a native English speaker, so forgive me for any grammar and/or spelling mistakes.

TLDR; Build positive habits on a foundation of willpower, not motivation.

Start reading non-fiction and apply it in your life. Work on your physiology, it should be the foundation for productivity and discipline.

Lessen the amount of super stimuli in your life to get more dopamine (motivation).

Flow activities should be the goal in life, not mind numbing pleasure.

Start a bullet journal where you color code all activities you do each day positive or negative.

It all started when I realized I had hit rock bottom. I was getting up at 3pm everyday. Only ate junk food, lay in bed watching YouTube and smoking a lot of weed. My room was always a complete mess. I completely disregarded my study while I was living of a study loan. Every night I would hang out with a friend who would do the same and we'd smoke weed and watch screens until about 5 am. It really was rock bottom. This went on for a long time until I saw I had to change my life.


I read a book called The Slight Edge. The idea of the book was that with consistent, incremental improvement, anyone could reach anything. It also debunked the idea of a 'quantum leap', which at first I believed in. I liked the idea and started implementing it to form positive habits in my life. I started with nofap, meditation, reading, cleaning and some more. I made a lot of mistakes when I first started out. So some advice on habit building I have accumulated is this:

DON'T TRUST MOTIVATION. Motivation is good if it's there but it shouldn't be the foundation of the habits you create. Why? because motivation isn't always there, and when it's gone you also lose the habits that you build on top of it. I experienced this a lot of times. I would have a streak of 100+ days meditation, miss 3 days and completely give up until I had the motivation again to start over.

So how can I build habits then? Do it based on willpower. The big difference is not to say to yourself "I'm gonna read 20 pages every day because I'm so motivated to gain knowledge." But that you say "I'm going force myself to start reading everyday because I will have enough willpower to always do that."

The key is that if you make the requirement so small that you can always do it, you will never fail. So doing for example 1 pushup everyday. You will never fail that requirement. But if you have very little motivation one day and think about doing 20 pushups, it just seems intimidating and you don't do it.

Some people might say "only starting to read or doing 1 push up will never get me anywhere." And I agree, but the thing is that you can do more. And you will usually do more. Once you forced yourself, with willpower, to get into push up position and do 1 push up, you'll probably think "I can do one more, and one more" and so on. Same for reading, once you've forced yourself to sit in a chair with a book and started reading, you wont stop after just 1 word. You will do a lot more than the initial requirement more times then not. It will also give you a sense of "I did this". Especially if your requirement is, say, 1 push up, and you do 10. You will have done 9 extra. As opposed to when you require yourself to do 20 and do 10. You will have done 10 too little.

Try it right now, force yourself on the ground to do one push up. I'm sure you have the willpower to do that.

The key is to make the requirement so small you will never fail it. Build the habit on a foundation of willpower, if motivation comes along, that's great.


The one habit that has done the most for my life is to read non-fiction. I bought an e-reader and started to read daily. I recommend buying an e-reader a lot. Here are some of the benefits:

- Very portable, whenever I'm in public transport I pull it out and read some pages.

- Buying books is instant and you can read anything you'd like

- If you have little money there are a lot of places where you can download ebooks for free

- It has a backlight, so you can read in your bed, lying on your side, in the dark. Most come with blue light filters as well.

Some of the benefits of reading non-fiction

- You can learn directly from great people

- There are books on anything that you find interesting (for me it's psychology)

- There are a lot of self-help books on the market that will give you advice that you can practically apply in your life.

I'm sure there are a lot more, but for the sake of not writing a book as a post this will do.

I think the most important thing as a prerequisite for discipline is good physiology. If you aren't feeling good it's hard to do things that would count as disciplined behavior. So that's why I would recommend reading some books about physiology.

Books that have had a profound impact on my life are; Mini habits, Meet Your Happy Chemicals, The HeartMath Solution, The Willpower Instinct, Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience and Awareness Through Movement.

If your read all these books you will learn; how to create healthy habits in your life without making it hard; how your brain chemicals work; how to instantly lower stress and deal with negative thought and emotion, how willpower works, why it matters and how to get more of it; how orgasm induces neurochemical brain changes for 2 weeks and how it's evolutionary designed to break romantic relationships; what a flow experience is, and why it should be the goal for all activities in life to turn into one; that everyone stops progressing in the most basic things like breathing, posture etc. because only the minimal in life is needed to get on, it also provides lessons on how to improve these parts of life.

Gaining knowledge in this field will give you the ability to make the changes in your life that will benefit your overall feeling. Feeling good overall, in your body and mind, is required for doing productive things.


I'm a psychology student so when I got into self help I was naturally interested in the brain's place in self improvement.

Dopamine is the key player here. Most people think dopamine is responsible for 'pleasure'. This is a big misunderstanding. Dopamine is actually responsible for 'wanting' and motivation.

Most people think dopamine is responsible for 'pleasure'. This is a big misunderstanding. Dopamine is actually responsible for 'wanting' and motivation.

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When the dopamine part of the brain was first discovered, it was discovered in rats. The researchers hooked up a lever to the rats' dopamine circuit to shock the dopamine circuit (mimicking dopamine release) whenever the rats would pull the lever. The rats soon ignored anything else and only pulled the lever until they died of starvation and fatigue. Next the researchers (this one is a bit cruel) would have 2 levers on the opposite sides of a cage that would produce a 'dopamine hit' if pressed after the other. To make it interesting they put an electrically charged grid in between that would give the rats a painful shock if they walked over it. So now the rats would have to cross the grid every time they wanted another 'dopamine hit'. Shockingly (lol) the rats would run across it until they burned of their legs and couldn't walk anymore. The researchers concluded from these experiments that this dopamine circuit was responsible for creating pleasure. Nowadays this is proved to be wrong and the actual function of the dopamine circuit is believed to be wanting and motivation.

Most things people like to do give a lot of dopamine (much more than anything would have given in nature). Things like watching TV (or netflix), internet, drugs, processed foods, porn, gambling and videogames. Things that give us a lot of dopamine tend to be addicting. No wonder I was only smoking, watching screens and lying in bed when I hit rock bottom.

Now, why should you care? The reason is very simple. Exposure to high dopamine for longer periods of time REDUCES DOPAMINE RECEPTORS. Lower dopamine receptors give you lower motivation, lower concentration and less mental sharpness. With there being a lot of supernaturally high dopamine giving activities and substances available to us we should all be aware in what amount we should consume them. This is the reason why there are more college and university dropouts more than ever before. Why so many people are unhappy at work. And why there are more cases of depression than ever before (depression is linked to lower dopamine).

Big companies know about this and use it to sell us as much as possible and keep them on their platforms for longer. They put the exact amount of sugar in all foods so that we like it the most, they design their platforms so you stay on them a lot (Facebook and Instagram), they implement gambling into games so that we play them more (Fortnite).

So what to take away from all this? Lessen the amount of activities you do each day that give you a lot of dopamine and don't add anything to your life. This will give you a natural amount of dopamine receptors again and will make it a lot easier to stay concentrated while reading or learning an instrument for example.


1 book that has made a profound impact on my life is the book Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience. The idea of the book is that there are certain activities that for which your brain needs 100% of it's power to be focused on the activity. This is when you reach a 'Flow state'. In this state you lose the idea of the self, you lose track of time and are only focused on the task at hand. For example when you drive somewhere and you get there and don't remember how you got there.

Flow occurs when your skill matches the challenge of the activity. When your skill is too high, you will be bored, when the challenge is too high you will be anxious.

Flow occurs when your skill matches the challenge of the activity. When your skill is too high, you will be bored, when the challenge is too high you will be anxious.

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The key idea from this book, for me, was the difference between pleasure and enjoyment. Pleasure activities are ones that give the high amount of dopamine. Whereas enjoyable activities also give dopamine, but also make you better at the task and will often produce a state of Flow. Enjoyment produces growth, pleasure does not.

I think that any activity in life that is not a pure pleasure activity can be made into a flow activity. It's one of my goals in life to fill my day with enjoyable activities. It made me realize I wanted to fill my day with making music and reading, not with smoking and watching TV.


One of the best habits I have build is journaling. More specifically bullet journaling. I'm not sure if this is the official way to do it but this is what I do and what works for me.

People pay coaches a lot of money to do something they can do themselves as well; give feedback. All a coach does is tell you what you've done, and where you can improve. This is something you can do yourself easily by bullet journaling.

My method: I have a simple notebook where I use the left and right page for 1 day. In the morning I write down some things I want to do that day on the left page. If there are things I wanted to do yesterday I write them down for today. I also write a bit about how I feel. Recently I've been doing some affirmations as well on that page. You can skip this entire left page, I personally like it, but I can understand how it's a bit much for some people. You could also experiment with it and change it up how you like it.

The real magic (and the reason I made the coach analogy) is on the right page. Here is where I write down every influential activity I do. I won't write down things like 'have breakfast' or 'short chat with roommate'. I write down everything that has a positive or a negative meaning (some things are neutral like doing groceries). Then at the end of the day I will use a marker to color code every activity either green (positive) or red (negative). So for example:

(green) get up at 6am

(green) take a cold shower

(green) meditate

(red) smoke a joint

(red) waste an hour on Netflix

(green) go to school

(red) hangout with X toxic friend and drink beer

I hope you see what I meant with the coach analogy now. You will get a lot of feedback on what you do each day. When I first started doing this I was shocked by how much red activities I had and made it a mission to get more green activities in there. It was slow progress but steadily it got better.

If you don't like the left part of the journaling (which is how most people recommend it), I would advice you to try the right page. If you're gonna do one, it should be the right page. See it as a free life coach.


When I was at rock bottom my schedule was the furthest away from perfect that it could possibly be. One of the first things I changed that lasted was my sleeping schedule. I was done waking when it's almost dark already and still being tired. Also I noticed that everything I did in the late evening wasn't productive (or even counterproductive) like watching screens and doing drugs

There are good reasons to wake up early (5-6-7 AM). The best sleep you can get is the sleep between 10 and 12. If you're still awake at 00:00 you will produce cortisol and adrenaline to keep you awake. This isn't healthy. Good sleep improves cognitive function, vitality and motivation by a lot. There are many more benefits to a good sleeping schedule, and I think it's well known that it's a lot better. However most people think it's hard to change their schedule.

It's not. This is how you do it;

- Set your alarm at your goal wake up time (EG 6 am)

- When it goes, get out of bed, immediately eat breakfast

- Don't sleep the rest of the day

- Make sure you stop all screens by 9:30 and are in bed before 10:00

- Set the alarm again, you will most likely wake up before it goes.

It's as easy as this, now all you have to do is to stick with it. Start enjoying the vast amount if time you have available in the morning.

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

Tick Tock Part 2

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Do you ever get to the end of your day and wonder “Where in the H did the day go?”

Call me a sick, twisted person. But I like to always remind myself that time is passing me by.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

I’ve gotten in the habit of setting hourly timers during the day. Not only to remind me to check my progress. But also as a general reminder that time is never stopping.

When we are working on the things that are not in alignment with our perfect day, we tend to think “Oh only ONE more hour of this and I’ll get back to the fun stuff”. And then we expand that into one more day, one more week, month and year. (and ‘One more dawn. One more day. One day more’ for you Les Mis fans)

And then what happens ? You wake up on 1/1/2019 and go “Well !@#$%^&* I’m in the same situation I was on 1/1/2018. Where did the year go? And I just pissed away another 525,600 minutes! !@#$%^&*(”

I don’t want to ever forget that those hours, days and weeks are building up. And I may have more behind me than ahead of me.

Time matters. Every hour you are doing the boring and mundane is one more hour of joy you are denying yourself. And that will eat away at your soul. Slowly. Bit by bit.

Do we have to do the boring and mundane? Yes we do.

But it should not be what we do the majority of the time.

Watch the clock today. Especially that second and minute hand. It’s passing you and I by. Don’t piss away the majority your hours on things that are not 1. Bringing you joy and 2. Helping to improve the world for someone around you.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Click here to read Tick Tock Part 1

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Performance & Productivity, Personal Development

Tick Tock Part 1

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Tick tock tick tock.

Do you hear that ? It’s time. It’s your life. Moving. Tick tock.

Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. Are all adding up and passing you by. Tick tock.

“I want to…” “I need to …” “someday I will…” “my goal is….”. Tick tock.

Look around. Are you in the same place you were 24 hours ago when you last thought about this ? Tick tock.

In an hour from now will you be in the same place because you sat around thinking about it some more ? Tick tock.

What will it take to kick you in the ass today ? Tick tock.

How bad does it have to be ? Tick tock.

How much do you have want something before it becomes an obsession ? Tick tock.

Like this. Share this. And then keep scrolling into the thing that will make you lololololol from buzzfeed. Tick tock.

Or stand up like a grown ass adult and take control. Tick tock.

It doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter to the clock. We’ll still be here. Tick tock.

I’ll see you again tomorrow. 86400 seconds from now. Tick tock.

I do this out of love. But you have to do it out of desire. Tick tock.

Smile. You can fix this. Tick tock.

Love, Patrick

Tick tock tick tock tick tock.

Tick Tock part 2 will be out next week.

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Personal Development

You Are Afraid

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“How do I do better ads?” Become more unhinged.

“How do I do better tweets?” Become more unhinged.

“How do I do better Facebook lives?” Become more unhinged.

“How do I get more interaction when I speak?” Become more unhinged.

“How do I close more consulting gigs?” Become more unhinged.

“How do I build a small tight circle of true friends?” Become more unhinged.

This is the first thing I think of in every marketing strategy. What can the person do that is more loud, authentic, genuine and closer to their core values and voice.

You are afraid. Afraid to say what’s really on your mind. Afraid to call a spade a spade. Afraid to call out bullshit when you see it. Afraid of offending your best friend, your fellow clergy member, neighbor, mom or the mom of your kiddos best friend. (If you don’t want to offend your boss I’ll give you a pass. You’ve got to put food on the table. )

It’s the reason you have two Facebook accounts. It’s the reason you fiddle with your privacy settings so some people see certain updates and others don’t.

It’s the reason you see a post from a friend or a fan page and ADORE it…. in your head. However don’t you dare like it or share it because that would piss off a bunch of your friends.

It’s happened to me. I’ve lost business because of it. I’ve had people message me privately and say “omg I can’t believe you said that. You really should take that down. “.

I’ve had people come up to me in real life and say “I thought about doing business with you but that curse word in your inspirational quote is a real turn off”. Well damn. There goes $10K I really could have used.

This is me calling you out.

I dare you to be more YOU. Stop trying less to be the model of a modern major general (that’s for you Courtney Clark). Say the things that are in your heart. Disagree with popular opinions and be vocal about it.

Now you don’t have to be an asshole. I’m sure I go too far sometimes. But I’d rather go too far and back that thang up later than sit here with an silent opinion screaming in my head about an important issue.

But relax a little. Feel free to voice your opinion – even when it’s unpopular. What is the worst that could happen?

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