One of the best things you can be in life and in business is more outgoing and more approachable when it comes to making new friends. I thought I’d use this time between us to talk about my history- how I’m more outgoing, more boisterous; how I make great connections, how I shake more hands, and how it’s benefited me in my life and in my business.
According to this article in the Wall Street Journal, procrastination may not be just a matter of laziness. It may also be related to a deep emotional strategy to avoid stress. That may explain why some people are always behind on projects, appointments, etc. Human beings will do anything to avoid stress – even if it comes at the cost of more stress later.
I personally get very annoyed when I get in a procrastination state because it is self-feeding. If I get behind on a single task or project, I have to delay other tasks to get it completed. It can be a downward spiral that is hard to dig out of.
Check out this list of five things you can do to help you out of that procrastination deathtrap:
Click here to read the original article.Read More
Richard Branson sure is a cool dude. And he’s done some incredible stuff in his life.
He’s also had some stupid, massive failures.
Have you ever heard of Virgin Cola? Their bottles were called “The Pammy” because they were shaped like Pamela Anderson.
Really, Richard? You are the same guy that started Virgin Airlines?
How about Virgin Brides? Yikes. (Yes, that’s him in the picture dressed up as a bride.)
It’s easy to laugh at when he swung and missed, though we all know he’s the man. And a big reason is that he doesn’t let a few whiffs stop him from going balls in the next time. And the next time. And the next time.
How can you have the same go-for-it attitude that he does? Simple. The next time you want to make a change in your life—want to start something new—you Experiment.
Simple: we procrastinate because we don’t want to mess up. We are afraid of not being perfect.
(Want to know the psychological reasons why you procrastinate? Watch the video here.)
See, the purpose of an experiment is to learn. The great thing about it is that the only way you fail in an Experiment is not to conduct it. Because I don’t know about you, but I learn best by doing. There is no substitute for experience.
When someone learns to fly, he reads. Then he Experiments in a flight simulator. Then he Experiments by flying with someone else. Then he is ready to go solo.
Our brain gets freaked out when we want to make a change or try something new—especially if it’s something big.
When you want to make a change, how can you break that change down into the smallest experiment you can?
If you decide you want to run your first marathon, you might then become paralyzed with fear: Do I have the right shoes? Do I run before or after work? Am I ready to commit to running five times a week for the next fifteen weeks?
You don’t have to answer any of these questions. All you have to do is perform an Experiment this next week. Try two Experiments: run once, for 15 minutes before work, and run again for 15 minutes after work. See which one fits best in your schedule. See if you need better shoes. Is it easier to commit to running almost every day for the next four months, or twice over the next week?
This concept works so well that I’ve written a whole book about it, which has become a #1 bestseller in both the Creativity and Business Leadership Training categories. It is a modern business fable, where a business owner—who wants to make changes in his personal and work life—meets a coach, who walks him through these changes through a variety of Experiments.
Take the next project you have. Is it a book? Starting a business? Getting healthy? What is the tiniest step you can take? Do that step. Then evaluate; what worked? What didn’t? What is your next step from there?
What do you think Richard Branson’s next Experiment will be? Virgin Butter? Virgin Flypaper?
Doesn’t really matter, because he’s still the coolest guy in the world. And he’s going to keep Experimenting until he dies. And his Experiments change the world.
Fear should never be allowed to hinder one in life. In reality, fear is nothing but, “false evidence appearing real”. That means that if you dissected the fear that a person had, then you would find no reason for it. A friend of mine told me recently of how she used to be afraid of dogs, until she was the age of 33. When my friend was a child, her aunt told her of a story of being bitten by a dog when she too was a little girl. She even showed my friend her wound. My friend became so terrified of dogs from that point on. It was almost as if my friend had “inherited” this fear from her aunt. Never had my friend been bitten or had any reason to be afraid of dogs, but she carried this fear for years. She assumed she would always be that way until one day she dated a guy who owned a Rottweiler. At first she experienced those same dreaded reactions that she always would when she came into contact with a dog. However, this time she soon realized that, although the dog was huge, there was no cause for her being intimidated by him…he was just a 150 lb. puppy, who happened to be extremely loveable. From that point on, her fear of dogs vanished.
It is ridiculous to think that a person could actually be fearful based on something that happened to someone else, right? Not really. This occurs every day. Too often, people are afraid to start a business, write and publish a book, go back to school or of making an investment in their future. Not because they have tried before, but because they knew someone else who tried and failed. Or you have the other end of the spectrum where a person may actually be afraid to succeed. Either case is a tragedy in life and could result in a person being stuck in their own world.
No matter how you look at it, you can never win with fear. Fear can be just as devastating as a plague, if allowed to exist, and has the potential to spread to so many other areas in life. That’s why it is vital to face fear head on. In life, we should never allow fear to score more touchdowns than we do, if we expect to win. And we do. Instead, deal with your fears before they become so detrimental to progression in life.
How do we deal with fear? Although not always a simple answer, some steps include:
Follow these steps with each fear that you may have. Make sure that you have conquered one before moving to another. Progress may not come overnight. Each person is different. Do not hesitate to seek professional help if your fear is deeply rooted and/or a result of trauma.
Know that you are predestined to win in life, not lose to fear. Refuse to give up or give in. Make the choice to tackle your fears today!
Shonda R. Murphy is a Life Coach at Divine Direction Life Coaching and a Financial Planner for Primerica, Inc. As an advocate of financial literacy, she thrives on helping individuals through life transitions as they get back on track, especially in the area of their finances.Read More
Dear Aspiring Entrepreneur, You’re Doing It Wrong
You’re an entrepreneur. A go-getter. A world changer. A starter-upper. The only problem is you’re still working for someone else, for now. You’re saving money, trying to cut expenses, getting up at 5 am, sharing the “master plan” with friends and family. You watch the minutes tick tock by, put in as little effort as possible, and then sprint home to get back to work on your side business. Many, if not most, entrepreneurs start hustling while still employed for someone else. That’s not the issue. The issue is that successful entrepreneurs realize that no matter where they are employed, they are working for themselves.
If you really want to achieve your goal of going out on your own, it’s time to figure out a way to leverage your current situation. Even if you have reached the ceiling at the company. Even if your boss is worse than Darth Vader. Even if you’re surrounded by complainers, coasters or haters. How? From now on, your day job is:
I know how hard it is to stay motivated on projects at work when your heart and brain want to be shaping your business into reality. But what if you saw every challenge at work as an potential resume builder in order to land a better job. Yes, another job, but a better one. A raise would allow you to put more into savings and pay down your debt faster. A company with a better reputation or higher visibility gets your name in front of more eventual-potential-customers. Plus, establishing yourself as someone who is moving, shaking and getting promoted in your industry easily translates into momentum for the launch of your own brand.
When is the last time you went over and asked a friend in accounting what they were tackling that day? Or if you’re an accountant, when is the last time you went and asked someone in marketing how they come up with creative content? Remember you will be ALL of the departments when you launch your venture. Learn as much as you can all day everyday. If your boss ticks everyone off, what can you learn for your future employees? If the company loses a large client or giant product order, why? How can you make sure you don’t make that mistake?
I know, I know, similar to practice field, but hear me out. Practice fields are situational, but you, at the gym, that’s personal. Even though working on our passions is the most fulfilling, we don’t have to let our entrepreneurial muscles atrophy for 40 hrs a week, we can use that time! Take a look around your workplace and try and find holes to fill or problems to solve. Creativity takes practice. Staying laser focused takes practice. Innovation takes practice. Effective problem solving takes practice. The more you “work out” at your job, the more prepared you’ll be to do the heavy lifting for your own brand.
Kelsey Humphreys is the author of GO SOLO: How to Quit the Job You Hate and Start a Small Business You Love and an emerging authority on the subjects of branding, marketing, entrepreneurship and personal development. After starting her career as a graphic designer, her passion for those subjects led her to become the Associate Creative Director at one of Oklahoma’s largest advertising agencies. She then landed an international client and was able to quit her dream job for her dream; starting her own business. Now she speaks, consults, coaches, and writes to help other multi-passionate entrepreneurs avoid her mistakes and launch a solo business they’ll truly love.
Humphreys lives in Oklahoma City with her high school sweetheart husband, their daughter, and two feisty dogs. Follow Kelsey on twitter @kelseyhumphreysRead More
Believe it. Believe it with your heart and soul. Believe it with every fiber of your being. Believe that you have a calling and that you will climb, crawl and jump over anything to meet your calling. Believe that you will have pain, setbacks, and times when it feels like the world wants to do everything it it’s power to get in the way of your calling. The wounds and damage are part of the journey. Don’t dwell on them. Welcome them and embrace them as part of the process of life.
But don’t ever stop believing. Fabricate in your mind a clear vision of what your particular success looks like. It could be a health transformation. It could a wealth transformation. Or it could be getting a job that makes you so happy that would do it for free. Whatever your particular version of success id, believe and it imagine it in detail. Only then will you be table to take the momentous steps you need to take to fight the battle towards your dreams and successes.
We will gladly give our time, attention and money to a person who knows what they are talking about. Or at least thinks they know they are talking about. But self-confidence does not come naturally to a lot people. I think our upbringing drastically affects whether we leave the nest with a ton of self-confidence or very little.
Self-confidence is the ability to believe and display the attitude that you know what you are doing. It is a virtue desired by employers, mates and friends. The world is a beautiful balance of people who have varying levels of self-confidence. The people on one end of the scale are fearful that they are not good enough or don’t know enough to open up and share their wisdom. The people on the extreme other end of the scale of self-confidence are brash, arrogant, and generally unpleasant to be around. If you can find a way to be confident but be just below the extreme, the world will love you and eat you up. They will applaud you and live vicariously through you. And as a bonus – they will pay good money to be around you and learn from you.
Here are the mindsets that you should remember when you are not quite sure of what you are getting ready to tackle – or even if you should be doing it:
Bonus: When you see people that appear “self-confident” and wish you were more like them, remember this: They may have the same fears and insecurities that you do. Fifteen minutes before you saw them they may have been sitting in their car doing self-talk to get up the courage to do what you are seeing them do now. Some of the people that appear confident in public are terribly insecure in private. They are just really good actors, and their desire for accomplishment is greater than their fear of failure.
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Don’t worry about being talented or having the skill to do something that you really want to do. That has never mattered to successful people. The only thing that has mattered is the killer drive to create something amazing, and then figuring out how to do it along the way.
Confession: I’m not a great writer, amazing speaker, or the most astute business owner. I regularly screw up – and some of them have been pretty big. But I am committed to standing up after every fall, wiping myself off, and starting the climb again. I may be a passionate person, or I may just be too dumb to know when to give up. Only time will tell.
Don’t give up . I swear happiness and success are worth every bead of sweat dropped and every tear shed.Read More
Because attitude is the interpretation of life as it comes at you. Your senses pick up signals about the world around. Your brain has to listen to the things that people do to you, for you, and sometimes against you. Their words and actions are life coming at you. All of those words and actions have to go through your attitude to get to the other part of your brain that controls your mood and your reaction. Two different people can ingest the same set of words and react to them differently because of the internal attitude.
Sometimes you cannot control all of that outside crap that you have to ingest. But the attitude is the ONE filter that you can always control. It is the only thing that matters when it comes to happiness, sadness, joy and pain. Sometimes that attitude can get the crap beat out of it too. After so much sadness and pain the attitude has to just take a break. F that happy crap. I deserve to be a little pissy for awhile. But it should eventually recover and be stronger on the other side.
If you have a pissy attitude, ride it out and get over it. It won’t get you anywhere. If you have a great attitude, then the world is yours for the taking.
Try to have a great attitude today.Read More