Category Archives for Personal Growth

ONE of these days you'll get tired of your own excuses and get it together. I hope today is that day.

The Next 60 Seconds

You want to know who is great at making excuses? ME. As much as I kick other people in the butt I’ve got my own demons riding on my back. Every day I have a war in my head of fighting what is practical and not fun with what is fun but harder to accomplish. I take the easy, less-than-happy way out more often that I’d like to admit. I deal with the remorse and then hope I get the chance to make the happier choice tomm. But the happier choices are also happening more frequently.

I am sure you have this riding on your back. There is that “thing” out there that you want to do. It’s fun. It’s exciting. And you know you can build an income and a lifestyle around it. But there is also that doubt in the back of your head. Or maybe there is no doubt. Maybe everything else just gets higher priority. Family, jobs, parents, the yard, the dog, the bills. Everything else takes up all of your damn time and there is nothing left to pursue the dream.

I’ve been there. And I’m still there several times a week.

It all comes down to decisions. Every minute you have to decide what is more important. If you decide to take the easy less than happy way out, then you’ve lost that minute. Try again the next minute. And the next and the the next after that.

But remember that your minutes are running out. Those minutes are going to turn into hours. And then days, weeks and months. Time doesn’t disappear all at once. It happens in the seconds and minutes that we waste on the less-than-happy bullshit that comes our way.

OK. You’ve consumes the past 60 seconds with this. Now what are you going to do with the next 60 seconds. And the next. And then the next.

You get that choice.

StopDoingNothing. Love – Patrick

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Time Lost Cannot Be Regained

Thirteen Jacked Up Things That Are Pissing Away Your Life

This morning I was thinking about my constant effort to improve my productivity and energy management. The world is fighting against people that want to be productive, smart, efficient and ambitious. You have to always be on your toes and proactively plan your life so life doesn’t take control of you. This post (like so many others) was written partially as a reminder to myself about the bad habits of the past that have killed my goals in life. I hope it opens your eyes and helps guide you towards the light of happiness.

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You Made It. Now It’s Time to Work.

First, congratulations. You made it. You wrote that book. Asked that girl or boy out. Got the promotion. Maybe landed your first head coaching position. Started a new business. I know you have worked hard to achieve that goal, congratulations. Enjoy this moment because now it is time to work if you really want to stay on top.

We spend so much time working toward a goal that we forget to plan for what life will be like after we achieve that dream. And too many times we end up not sustaining our success. It’s not our talent that changes. Our talent got us to the top, it is being ignorant of the work needed once we make it to the top that brings us back down.  Let’s look at how we can prepare for that work.

Evaluate Your Goals

Transitions are a great time to reflect and analyze your goals. This is not easy, though. Achieving a goal is a clear mark for you to reach, but what do you want to do now? Do you want to sell 100,000 copies of your music? Do you want to be CEO of the company? Do you want to win a state title? By articulating what your goals look like it will help with the next step.

Create New Habits

A clear goal allows you to create a new plan and with a new plan comes new habits. This doesn’t mean your whole life changes, but to stay successful after reaching your goal demands you to create habits to sustain that success. With new goals in mind, you can see what it will take to achieve those goals. The new habits you will need to set become clear. But, you and I know that creating new habits is hard. That is why the third idea is so important.

Find Your Motivation (understand your why)

Hopefully, you understood why you worked so hard to accomplish your goal, but in the days, weeks, even years it takes to achieve a goal you can lose sight of the deeper reasons you set out on this journey. Rewriting your goals will help. Goals bring back a focus to your why. But rewriting your goals may not be enough. And honestly, if you find it hard to set new goals connected to sustaining your success, you may have forgotten why you wanted to reach the goal in the first place. It happens. Success is hard work and you can get lost in the grind.
If you are finding it hard to set new goals, or unsure what to do know that you are at the top, there are a few things to help find your why.  First, enjoy the moment. Recharge. Success takes energy. You will find it easier to make the transition from reaching the goal to maintain that success when your energy level is back. Second, be honest with yourself. Evaluate (with your goals in mind) what you want to do next. Sometimes reaching a goal takes so much time that you have changed. If you decide to strive after another goal, that is awesome. But if you want to now take this dream to the next level, be honest, it’s now time to work. You will need to remember why you are doing this, set new goals to achieve, and create new habits to stay on top.

Husband, Father, Coach & Professor Jamey BowelhowerBio: Jamey Boelhower is a husband and a father of six. He is currently an Instructional Coach and an adjunct professor for Central Community College, Nebraska. You can read his regular blog “It Is All Connected” by clicking here. And you can follow him on twitter at @jdog90

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Life is too short for you to be content with unhappiness

Some of you that visit this website regularly are unhappy.

Some are just a little unhappy, some are worse, and some are so deep in a hole that you have little hope you will ever dig yourself out of your hole. I’m going to share a secret with you that is going to be hard pill to swallow: Unhappiness is a choice. And I’m dead damn serious about this . Unhappiness is a state of mind that results from how you feel about your conditions. And the best thing you can do if you are tired of being unhappy is change something. The burden that you have on your back may be overwhelming. You are not going to be able to shed it all at once. But start TODAY by looking one TINY thing that you can improve. People don’t change anything overnight. We make progress by making links chinks and holes in the conditions that we don’t like. With enough holes you’ll eventually start to see some light come throught. Not much. Just a little sliver. But that little sliver will give you hope. And the next day you work on getting another sliver. And another and another. Eventually the burden will start to lesson.

Have hope. But be sure you are taking action so you can see the results of hoping. I promise you it can be better.

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12 ways you can jump start your new year now

12 Ways You Can Jump Start Your New Year Now

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. Year after year many of us approach the holidays with no thought of preparation then at the dawn of the new year, set ridiculous resolutions. Yes, I say ridiculous because how many of these resolutions actually last past a few months. That is actually stretching it a bit. Most are just a thought, resolving to do something but never committing to the action necessary for change.

There may be a solution. What about jumpstarting the new year before the holidays? With the proper mindset, setting guidelines before the holiday season, can prove to be beneficial. This can offer the much needed discipline and support in areas that are of most concern.

Four key areas of focus that tend to be the most common areas of new year’s resolutions include:

Your Health

Refuse to get caught up in overeating during the many holiday festivities . Use common sense. Keep in mind as the saying goes, a moment on the lips but a lifetime on the hips. Meaning any extra calories that you take in, will require even more work to take off. With food used so much socially, that may be easier said than done. However, there are actions that can be taken to make sure you do not approach the new year carrying more physical weight than you desire:

  1. Keep a food journal – statistics prove that you are less likely to overeat if you write down everything you eat.
  2. Increase your consumption of healthy snacks. Stock up on extras in bulk and create small snack bags to keep with you for times you feel hungry. This way you are less likely to have an overreaction to the sight and smell of the delicious spread at that after work holiday party.
  3. Drink more water. Normal recommended daily intake = body weight multiplied by 0.5. Make sure you at least drink that much. This again, will keep you at a comfortable state and lessen the chance of overeating, not to mention aid in proper digestion of what you do consume.
  4. Increase your physical activity. Just because the days are shorter this time of the year, does not mean that you have to retire those walking shoes. Find safe places to walk like the stairs at work or the mall after work. Any consistent movement of at least 30 minutes a day will help tremendously to help burn the extra calories and may even curb the appetite a bit.

Your Finances

Do not allow the commercialization of the season or the pressure of gift exchange, force you to overspend.

  1. Create a holiday budget. Plan ahead by setting aside money during the year for holiday spending.
  2. Clean out your closet and garage. Ditch those items you know you will not wear or use again. This also serves as a great clearing ritual to make room for those new items you’ll be receiving as gifts. You can give the items away or if you need a little extra cash to buy holiday gifts, this is a smart way to accumulate extra cash.
  3. Stay away from the overuse of credit. You will to regret it if you don’t. It’s just that simple. If you must buy gifts, choose to draw names among family members. That way, there will be less gifts for each person to buy, saving money for all involved.
  4. Note: Do not deviate from your regular budget, savings and investment practices during the holiday. Being cautious of this, will make receiving those after holiday account statements less stressful.

Your Emotional Health

The holidays can unfortunately be a source of added emotional stress. Thinking of lost loved ones, broken families and holidays of ears past, can often be depressing.

  1. Remember to take care of you. Sometimes it’s so hard to avoid the holiday stresses with the increased traffic, longer lines and often impatient shoppers Spend quite time, exercise, read, mediate or adopt whatever stress relieving practices that you need to.
  2. Live in the now. Refuse to allow depression to creep in at the memory of past holidays that were happier times. Volunteer or help someone less fortunate. This takes the focus off of you.
  3. Handle toxic situations with ease. Often the holidays require you to encounter family, friends and colleagues that you may prefer to avoid during other times of the year. Leave the drama at the door. Approach toxic situations and people optimistically and minimize the time that you must spend with them, if necessary.
  4. Seek support. If you do find yourself a little down, seek help or the company of those who understand and can lend a listening ear.

Your Relationships

Whether single, married, separated or divorced, know that this time of the year may provoke moments of loneliness. This is not uncommon.

  1. Maintain healthy relationships. If you are single, refuse to seek out a date or companion for Christmas dinner simply because you dread questions from others about why you are still unhitched.
  2. Value the good times with loved ones. Keep drama away from family gatherings. This time only rolls around once a year.
  3. Maintain open communication. If married, discuss with your mate, any areas of stress in a loving way and allow as much open communication as you possibly can. Keep the peace.
  4. Teach your children the true meaning of the season. Expose them to those who are less fortunate by volunteering in some capacity.

Remember that if you fail to plan, then you are in essence planning to fail. Make this upcoming year like none other. Jumpstart it right!

Shonda Murphy Headshot

Shonda R. Murphy is a Life Coach at Divine Direction Life Coaching and a Financial Planner for Primerica, Inc. As an advocate of financial literacy, she thrives on helping individuals through life transitions as they get back on track, especially in the area of their finances.

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Break Through The Wall

Four Ways To Break Through the Wall

Let’s be honest, at some point we all hit a wall. A Plateau. A Bad Day. Writer’s Block. Whatever you might call the moment when things stop working. It is a natural part of reaching for a goal. It’s just a part of life. How you handle that moment is crucial though.  If handled wrong the wall becomes too big to overcome, and we become frustrated, irritable, and maybe worst of all, we give up.

If we handle the moment well, the wall becomes a hurdle.  It doesn’t mean it doesn’t take work or time to overcome, but we soon find ourselves back on track to achieving our goals. Here are a few ways to handle those moments when we hit a wall in our life.

Take a Break

We work hard. Life can get busy. Sometimes we hit the wall when we are tired, and that makes the wall bigger than it actually is. It is OK to take a break. Walk away from the wall for awhile. Part of this is being aware of your situation and self. To be honest enough to take a real break. I know this is difficult for us when we are striving to achieve a goal. But when you feel rested, you might discover that the wall was not that big in the first place.

Ask for Help

This option is also hard to do sometimes. Our pride gets in the way, but consider that great athletes have coaches, great writers have editors, and simply, CEOs have friends. We are people, not machines. Getting someone else’s perspective on a situation is a valuable asset in overcoming a “wall” moment. When working on a goal, our focus can actually blind us from seeing new opportunities or hurdles that trip us up. Life is a team sport, you don’t have to do it alone.

Try a New Approach

One way around a wall is a new approach. Asking for help can lead us to consider new approaches. But we can figure it out sometimes when we hit a wall, and we hit a wall, and we hit it again. If we keep doing the same thing and keep hitting a wall, it is time to change.  As a coach and teacher I am always evaluating the outcome of a lesson or practice plan. Track is the best example here. As a track coach I paid attention to my runners’ times for their events. If they didn’t improve their time after a few weeks, I knew I had to change their training. The same holds true in our pursuit of a goal. Hitting a wall, especially a couple of times, is a sign to try a new approach.


The last approach may be the most important, learn. When we move into a new area of life or step closer to a goal, we are entering new territory. And we might not have the knowledge or skills for this step forward. My first novel has been out for six months. Sales started out well, in fact, I sold a couple of hundred copies. But now sales are almost to a stop. I have hit a wall.  This wall is because of my lack of knowledge about promoting a book. It will take some time, but I am learning about different ways to self-promote and hiring an agency to promote a book.  This wall was created because I had not gained the knowledge needed to promote a book well.

Hitting a wall is a part of striving for a goal. It is part of life. Using one of these strategies should help you get through the moment and back on track.

True leader, Husband, Father, Coach & Professor Hamey Bowelhower

Bio: Jamey Boelhower is a husband and a father of six. He is currently an Instructional Coach and an adjunct professor for Central Community College, Nebraska. You can read his regular blog “It Is All Connected” by clicking here. And you can follow him on twitter at @jdog90

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