“The best ways you can lose weight is to lose the weight of the opinions of people around you.” –Patrick Allmond (06:45-06:51)
We are severely judged every single day. We are judged on our social media posts. We’re judged on our appearance and were judged on the type of laptop we have, the kind of coffee we drink.
With all these judgments and opinions around us, the struggle to be a better person gets more challenging by the day. The worse happens when we let these negative thoughts get into our way of life and affect us and how we live. In his 100th episode at Stop Doing Nothing, Patrick Allmond talks about “How to Be a Better Person in the Next 30 Minutes.”
Part One of ‘How to Be a Better Person in the Next 30 Minutes.’
We’re wrapping up 2020. I think I’ve got some good lessons that I’ve learned. First is that one of the best ways you can lose weight is to lose the weight of people’s opinions around you. People, as judgmental beings, tend to be harsh with each other. They tend to make fun of each other. It’s becoming a reflex action that you wouldn’t be surprised to get a head-to-toe stare if you looked different from others.
If you’re guilty of these actions, pay attention when you’re altering your physiology. Please pay attention when you give your opinion, whether it be through your actions or your words. What you do or what you say may back off a strong opinion. It might be outraging or is pissing off somebody. Whenever that happens, try to pump the brakes. When you have a chance, change.
“Pay attention when you’re altering your physiology or altering your opinion about what you’ll say that might be outraging to somebody. When that happens, pump the breaks.” – Patrick Allmond (10:27-10:55)
The second point I want to share with you is the fact that a lot of people are really tied up about challenges in life and are so tense that they forget about the fun things. We are so ingrained in these debates. We’re having online political debates, the racial debates, the debates about cops, the debates about technology, the debates about minutia, etc. Reality hits us hard, but we love to debate or argue about small things in this world—and they drag us down. They’ll drag us down for hours and days and weeks and months. And suddenly 50, 60, 70 years have gone with minutia and small debates.
Now and then, what we need is a reset to remind us of the importance of living fully and celebrating life. Furthermore, a reset allows us to look at how things are finite in this world.
It’s hard to admit, but life can disappear on us pretty fast. Thus, whenever you’re fighting, pissing away, and losing time on small things, constantly remember the bigger and more important things in life.
Part Two of “How to Be a Better Person in the Next 30 Minutes.”
Most people get frustrated at having progress, not at the same pace as other people’s progress. Whether it is health, business, finances, or the things we do at home, we have what we call ‘different journeys.’
I like to share the importance of the journey because I hoped you could use my journey as a fodder lesson. But also, remember, we are on two separate journeys. So if I share my journey, my big win, bear in mind that my big win isn’t meant to make you feel like you don’t have a big win or be working on the same big wins I did. We are on separate journeys. We really are.
So, if I’m doing something great, don’t expect you to have the same skill. And if I’m doing something poorly, don’t hold off on doing it because you think you’re going to fail at it. We are on two different journeys on this planet, whether it’s wealth or starting a business or relationships or physical attributes.
“When you’re out there watching other people’s journeys use them as fodder and as inspiration, but try not to get frustrated at your journey compared to their journey because you are on two completely separate paths.” –Patrick Allmond (17:51-18:08)
Stop expecting you from other people. In other words, when you put something out, whether it’s on social media or you’re at a social event, you’re discussing something with someone. Never assume that you are going to have the same opinions and ideologies as other people. Because when you do that, it’s very easy for us to get frustrated and generally pissed off at other people.
We tend to go into instant defense mode because we believe in our opinions strongly. And often, we like discussing things only with people who share the same beliefs and value system. That’s not how the world works; that is not realistic. There is nobody who is going to have the same opinions as you
So, when you are putting an opinion out there, when you’re discussing something or starting a new venture, remember that you’re dealing with people who don’t share your opinions. It’s important to remember that because it will improve your communication skills. It’s going to get you out of a fight or flight mode and maybe make you be more accepting of people realizing that we all have different experiences in that.
You know what? Not everyone’s going to agree with you, and that’s perfectly okay. The great people have opposing opinions and can have healthy debates about them, not fights and not setting each other’s houses and cars and businesses on fire. But the great people to be around are the ones that can say, “Okay, well, we don’t agree on this. Let’s either find something we can agree on, or maybe let’s take a little piece of our disagreement and find something that we can agree on.”
Those are the peacemakers of the world. Those are the people who can settle big fights and big arguments.